Malaysia

And she runs up to me and says daddy daddy I wrote you something:

"Oranges are round

And so is the world

And im so proud to be you baby girl"

That’s whats she told me,

Staring her black pearly eyes into mine

And a smile that could illuminate satan’s dark soul

You could easily tell she hadn’t loss her innocence yet

I mean how could she? She was only 5 years old

And I dared any man to batter her soul

Constantly thinking back before she was alive

thinking about how unfair was I when I nearly took her soul myself

Even after my family said they would help

This pressure from me wasn’t ready to dealt

Constantly saying nah, im not ready for a child

Taking a life, I’ll do it, but I aint proud

Heard a tiny voice from God, but satans was loud

God said how could I want to become apart of that crowd

Satan said she’d make your life go down

So what was I to do. I was tied between the two

So I decided to go to. The woman who.

Created me

Still thinking back when she said

Selfishness only brings destruction to someone else

And I could tell her life was tumbling fast

Her. Who had her. Inside of her

I wanted her to take her out of her

And for her opinion I didn’t ask

Yes, her mother, her mother was the sweetest angel

Even when I was the most sour demon

Staying calm after my rebellious acts

Saying that inside of me is your semen

And we been saying that we would be here for each other through thick and thin

And now that its thick, your heart wants to become thin?

C’mon I need you to be a man. Be here for me and your daughter

I need you to be a supporter.

And even if you don’t support me, I need you to support her

Still thinking back

Still staring into her eyes. Reiterating her words

Her heart full of happiness, my heart full of hurt

You see in her eyes, I was the father below The Father

And she was almost daughter to became slaughtered

All because I didn’t want my life harder

Because I didn’t want to become a father

Thought I’d be living in strife

And the hardest part to swallow was she became the most important thing in my life

Saying in my mind “this shit aint right”

And her soft, mellow hands comes and wipes my eyes

And she’s says daddy im sorry, please don’t cry

And I tell her “no Malaysia, everything is fine”

In fact, I wrote you a poem too.

It says “sugar is sweet, and so is candy-and im so proud to be your daddy”

Smile

It was a Friday

12:00 midnight

The very first time I met her…

She was wearing a the most beautiful dress

With the color of the sky when the most perfect eclipse set in

Wrapping around every curve of her body like a sidewalk on the street corner

Her eyes were like two worm holes.

Sucking the light from my soul for her own heart to feast on

So much that God would have called it a sin

But as her lips detached from each other as she began to smile

I swear, I got a glimpse of 32 of God’s Arch Angels as statues

Luminescence…

But as I got closer to her.

The pain that she embedded deep inside became more noticeable

So I told her. “whatever hurt you have inside of you, release it.

You have bottled it up too long”

She looked at me with her eyes piercing into my skin

With a slight smirk saying

What do you know

What do you know about

Running from pain so much that your knees become weak

Battered blistic barbaric bruises lying on your toes and feet

Being deprived of food so long that your cold in heat

And what makes matters worse you don’t eat meat

Your mother died before you are a teen

So your twin brother was the closest father figure you had ever seen

And your real father moved somewhere else with his new wife

Instantly marking you and your brother out of his life

And even on graduation day you ask could he make his way

But all he did was laughed in your face.

And the closest thing your brother had to a family was the hood

And you knew it was wrong, but you would smoke weed with him to make him feel good

So you try to stay with your sister to avoid family drama

But she kicks you out because her new born thinks that you are the mama

And through all of this you try to stay humble

Believing in Jesus, like they say we must

But all of this just keeps my heart broken in pieces

So it was no wonder why she had those 32 statues of angels in her mouth

Perfectly aligned in 2 rows

That glistened in the light to protect her from her dark soul

Her soul.

Burdened constantly

So in her soul she bleeds

Bleeding pain, hurt, negativity, anguish, and greed

But her greed was for happiness!

Her greed was for self preservation to reach revelation to get her out of this devastation

In this nation

So she starts Praying..

But all that she could say was

How could this happen to me. How could this happen to me..

Were the thoughts in her mouth that would pre-cede

Playing tic tac toe on her wrist until it would b-leed

Her soul is telling her to kill herself and her mind is starting to be-lieve

Im standing at the door, telling her to B-reath

Hoping that she would quickly receive

The words in her intellect so that she can retrieve

Praying to God that it’s another day we see

Together.

Because I want to be her friend forever

But if she don’t stop in 5 minutes, shes going to be my friend for-never

I sit on the floor and I start to Pray

And miraculously the door started to sway

I run to her Praising God constantly in my head

And I see her lying, crying on the bed

And on her bed sheets was where she bled

So I gave her a strong hug, slowly taking the knife out her hand

Gently whispering mellow words in her ear saying

You cant leave me yet

God haven’t made your bed in Heaven to lay in

So hello…to the Revelation

And goodbye…to the devastation

Amen